00:26 “With my wife, I got no sex life. The dog keeps watching me in the bedroom, wants to learn how to beg. I told him to watch my wife and learn how to roll over and play dead.”
01:09 “I tell ya, I got a dumb dog too. We call him Egypt. Every room he leaves a pyramid.”
01:25 “Are you kidding, I know I’m ugly. My dog found out we look alike, he killed himself.”

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